Get the pom pom’s out ladies and gentlemen, it is time to cheer.  I actually had homework in DBT tonight that had me memorize cheerleading statements.  Seriously?  I neve made the cheerleading squad in high school and I’m not making it now.  This cheer actually got me so angry I didn’t continue.  “I can stand it if I don’t get what I want or need.”  Is that so?  By the way all the cheers had to do with interpersonal effectiveness, and since I have no “persons” in my life what am I getting mad about anyway?  I can stand it if I don’t get what I want or need…ok…I can stand not having a friend, I can stand not having a person who loves me, I can stand  being told, “Fia, I really don’t want to help you anymore,” I can stand not having a hug, I can stand having not a soul to talk to, I can stand, not being caressed, I can stand silence, I can stand my mother not telling me she loves me EVER, I can stand the phone never ringing, I can stand being used by men, I can stand being left by EVERY SINGLE PERSON I HAVE EVER LOVED… I can stand this… lol.  Tell me, COULD YOU?????


One Response

  1. OH, Fia. IT will get better. Something about those statements has really upset you I totally understand.

    ONE moment, one scary skill, can bring up the past, links every hurt together into one. With no space between the outside world and the inner pain – that’s what happens for me. I’m telling you this because I know it all too well. What you are expressing is what happens to me when something good for me to do turns into something really uncomfortable and scary. Like DIARY CARDS!!

    When I have to do homework, I try to think about Linking it with…Staying in the moment, or Teflon mind or Distraction. Link those skills in first, before doing the cheerleading, or jump back and forth. I think the message, I can stand it if I dont get what I want or need, is supposed to help us towards radical acceptance..that is a big jump and it hurts and the body and mind fight it.

    Those statements bug me as well, yet they are true and something we can all work towards, because we have to take care of ourselves, not have other people fix our emotions and our identity. This is very scary, because we have it backwards. People do not have to give us our identity. WE give it to ourselves. How? I’m unsure, I’m working on it.

    I hope and know everything turns out okay. I also am relieved to see that someone else gets upset like I do!

    Yet, that’s the part we have to control as well. IT’s hard work and it’s not easy. It’s a fight and a struggle and you can do it, because PEACE, inner peace is the goal the balance and the end result
    Love ya!

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